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Friday, January 30, 2015

Perfection or Creation?

I'm in the middle or perhaps the two thirds of the way through creating my new show, INSPIRA: THE POWER OF THE SPIRITUAL.  I love the people with whom I am collaborating: Francis Wong, Michael Jamanis, and Matthew Armstead.  I feel lucky and blessed.

But last night as I was falling asleep, I started worrying.  Supposed it's not good enough?  I've never invested so much into a performance where the process is the product.  I've never improvised narrative and sound for longer than a minute.  And we haven't even gotten to movement!  Have mercy!  I'm in the Land of the New and Scary!


What will be good enough?  Will everyone else be really good while I'm really bad?  What about money?  Suppose I fail at something?!!



I woke up and put Little Bear on my chest and kept her there through the morning dog walk, dropping the kids off at school and even yoga.  She reminds me to be gentle with myself.


When I create something new, whether it be a little baby or a casserole, I need tenderness.  Giving birth makes me vulnerable because I'm opening.

Little Bear also reminds me to be soft and accepting of my newborn INSPIRA. She is perfect at this moment and only love will help her to grow.


What if each of us practiced treating ourselves with loving kindness?  What if we treated our teenagers this way even as we set limits?

As poet/playwright Ntozake would say, "Let her be born/Let her be born and handled warmly."

Peace and love!
Amanda

P.S.  For more on Inspira see www.dramandakemp.com

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